Mediation Questions & Answers
- What is Mediation?
Mediation is a process used to resolve differences. It
is a confidential, private and informal yet structured facilitated
discussion. During mediation both parties
each have an opportunity to talk about needs and issues. As
the mediator, I listen to all the concerns raised, help you identify
and explore possible solutions, and support you in working toward
agreements that are clear, lasting, and agreeable to both parties.
- What is Not Mediation
Mediation is NOT court. It is NOT a public trial with
witnesses, not marriage counseling nor a time to rehash the
past. As a mediator, I do NOT judge, take sides or decide
what should happen. Most importantly, mediation is NOT
a contest. It IS a different way to resolve disputes,
a time to get parties together quickly, safely, informally
and privately, to make decisions for themselves, about their
future.
- What types of cases are well-suited for Mediation?
Disputes between friends, business partners, employers/employees,
neighbors, family members, co-workers, acquaintances, roommates,
spouses, parents/children, contractors, colleagues…in
short, any situation whether personal, professional or legal,
where a conflict is causing stress and where resolution of
the conflict is important to one or more of the parties.
- How should I prepare for Mediation?
Before mediation, think about key issues that need decisions,
and think about what information you need to share with the
other party in order to make those decisions. Think also
about what issues the other party might raise, and then about
various options for settlement. I usually talk with each
party before mediation by phone, to introduce myself, schedule
mediation, and answer any questions about the mediation process.
- Come prepared to discuss the issues and your ideas about solutions
- Bring paperwork or essential documents that you may need during mediation
- Give yourself room to negotiate; if you make an offer
and stick to it the whole time, no matter what you hear
or learn during the mediation, you'll probably get
frustrated. Some give and take, some willingness
to compromise in order to get unstuck from previous positions
is usually needed.
- Avoid ultimatums - you might paint yourself into a corner you can't get out of
- Treat the other person respectfully; insults and put-downs undermine the mediation.
- How long does Mediation take?
The length is difficult to predict and depends on the complexity
and the number of issues you have. I usually schedule
2- hour sessions. At the end of that time, we talk about
whether mediation is helpful, and if so, we then schedule the
next session.
- Do I need a lawyer?
It is important for parties to have access to accurate legal
information, to enable you to make good, informed decisions. There
are many attorneys who support the mediation process. Sometimes
people come to mediation with attorneys, and sometimes not,
depending on their preference and whether the issues are more
personal or legal in nature. I am an attorney; however,
as a mediator I do not give legal advice. I encourage
parties to review potential agreements with their attorneys
before signing. If a case is pending in court, once you
reach a mediated agreement, it may be essential to have an
attorney prepare court documents and official papers, such
as a Separation Agreement, Consent Order, real estate documents
or buy-out contract.
- What does Mediation cost?
I charge an hourly fee in most mediation cases. The fee is payable
by check or cash at the end of each session. Unless there
is agreement otherwise, the fee is shared equally between the
parties. I don't charge a retainer fee for mediation,
and there is no obligation to continue using mediation. I
want to work with you as long as you think mediation is productive
and helpful.
My goal is to provide professional, respectful, useful services
to help you decrease stress in your life and make decisions
for yourself, so you can embrace the future with greater ease
and quality of life.
- Will I be in the same room with the other person the whole time during Mediation?
During mediation it's often helpful for the mediator
to meet separately with parties. This gives people a
chance to take a break and gives the mediator an opportunity
to explore ideas that may help you reach settlement. Since
each mediation is unique, it's hard to know whether separate
meeting time will be useful in your case. If you have
thoughts you want to share in private during the mediation,
or if you need to take a break, let me know and we can arrange
for that to happen.
- What's the difference between Mediation and Arbitration?
In arbitration the arbitrator renders a judgment and decides
what will happen; it is a private judging. In mediation
the mediator helps you discuss concerns and decide for yourself
how you want to resolve them; it is a facilitated negotiation,
a private, un-coerced consensus process.
- Who should consider using Mediation?
- Anyone who doesn't want to spend the time, money, or emotional strain required in going to court
- Anyone who wants to determine their own outcome
- Anyone for whom privacy and/or confidentiality are important
- Anyone who has been unable to resolve their dispute by negotiating on their own
- Anyone who wants to address a conflict in a way that rebuilds or preserves relationships (parents, business
associates, neighbors, friends, family, etc.)
- Does Mediation really work?
YES – while I cannot guaranty success in mediation,
in over 90% of the cases mediated, parties reach a voluntary
agreement and are able to resolve their differences. These
agreements are lasting because the parties themselves craft
them, and are invested in making them work.
- What Are the Advantages of Mediation?
- Economics – mediation is usually less expensive than litigation.
- Stress Reduction – not
only does mediation usually cost less money, it also is less
emotionally taxing than going to court, ignoring the problem
in hopes that it will go away, or continuing the argument. Mediation
can help repair and preserve relationships, or make the
ending of a relationship more amicable.
- Quick Settlements – mediation
can be scheduled at your convenience and usually takes much
less time than going through an administrative or legal process. Since
we can schedule mediation to match your schedule, you may
not need to miss work to come to mediation.
- Control & Predictability – Parties
who negotiate their own settlements have ultimate control
over the outcome. YOU decide what you agree to, and
you know for certain what the outcome is. Mediated
agreements are tailored for your needs and can include
a detailed plan for implementation.
- Durable Decisions – Mediated
settlements withstand the test of time because they are
mutual agreements, designed by the people directly affected
by the outcomes.
- Closure – people
generally find it helpful and healing to have closure on
their legal and personal issues.